Where’s the Adventure?

I’ve been absent from posting for the past few weeks.  While life has been a bit of a whirlwind, it’s not the business of life that’s kept me away from the keyboard.  I’ve had a serious case of writers block.  It permeates through the blog, my journal and the stories I’m writing for Hagar USA.   When I sit down to write, my mind goes blank. So what’s the “block”?

Then, a friend helped me realize my problem.  You see, I was catching up with said friend at a birthday party and my blog came up in conversation- I tend to think no one reads this thing.  I mentioned my difficulty in finding anything to write about back here in America, and we started joking about what my posts would entail.  I’d recount my lunch at Whole Foods where the hot bar was a little low, or discuss how I tried a new route to the store or my quest to find a really good coffee shop.  Nothing particularly exciting or adventurous there.  And then it hit me:

I think I lack adventure…

But I love adventure.  From the time I was young I have sought out adventure, and if there is some sort of exciting happening, I’m almost always willing to go.  So, why do I not see adventure in Charlotte, NC?

“In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration.” -Ansel Adams

I just need a change of perspective.   You see, in the past week I’ve had lots of adventures:

1. My bike chain fell off so many times I ended up walking the bike back home
2. Every day it seems I reacquire a little more of clothes and possessions from friends (whom I thank very much for storage).
3. I get to drive a 25 year old stick-shift truck, which makes every time I drive quite the adventure.  

And sometimes adventure isn’t sought out, but comes along anyway.  Last week I was having dinner with a few friends, when a guy came up and pointed to the extra chair. I’m not sure he actually said anything before we all gave the  curtosy “yeah, yeah.. oh, go ahead…sure…please, take it.”  You can imagine our surprise when this gentleman did not take the chair away as we thought, but sat down with us at the table.  BAM!  Adventure.  Kudos to my new friend, way to take chances and choose a life of adventure. 

Mr. Greenjeans- 1985 truck I get to drive

It doesn’t matter if I’m trying to figure out how to get wicker furniture on my bicycle and navigate the roads of Phnom Penh back to my flat, or if I’m meeting up with friends at Common Market, everyday has it’s own adventure. I need only to change my perspective, and open my eyes to seek and find adventure each and every day…

New Beginnings…Again

leaving Cambodia…a traveling vagabond

Life waits for no man (or woman).  I left Cambodia two weeks ago and planned to come back to the States, relax and begin to decide where to go next.  It was a good idea in theory…

Within one week of touching down I had been offered two jobs, told I was no longer going to to help Hagar in California and faced with deciding not only where to live, but if I was planning to stay in the States… all while my head was still somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean.

Now, here I sit, the day before Easter (my first Easter in the States in three years), and as I reflect on the past two weeks, I’m suddenly hit by the whirlwind. Two weeks ago I stepped off a plane – freezing I might add- with no idea of where my life might go.  Today, I’ve decided on a job, Community Organizer for the nonprofit (NGO) I was with before leaving and I start training on 9 April.  Because of that, by default, I decided to stay in Charlotte.  Two weeks ago I was a vagabond, and today I’ve signed a lease for a place to live and I move in next weekend.  At least I have a few moments before making permanent decisions on a car.  I’ve been borrowing one from the organization I worked for in college, a huge thank you to CCC for that!

I realize that this whirlwind (aka: life) will not necessarily slow down any time soon, and that I need a little time to process the past year.  Therefore, I am grateful that my loving parents have decided to take me down to Sarasota, FL for some saltwater and sand therapy next week.

Back at home with the family

enjoying Charlotte…albeit cold!

This year may look far different than the last, but it will be beautiful and full of love and community.  Here’s to being open to the whirlwind of life, no matter what part of the world I happen to find myself on…

Seasons + Life

I love seasons.  I love to go from the green grass to see the leaves change and the air turn cool and crisp, and have a need for a coat and gloves and a scarf before shedding these layers as winter turns to spring and spring to summer.   I love to see the seasons change- it’s a beautiful outward expression of the way our lives go through changes…

In Cambodia even the thought of a coat makes me feel overheated, but there are still changes and seasons.  Seasons of joy and sadness, of greetings and farewells.  Sometimes these inward “seasons” change within a single day.  

Right now I’m going through a season of change myself.  I’m packing up and preparing to fly back to the United States.  Yes, I leave here on Thursday at almost midnight.  I suppose I’m a little selfish.  I’d like everyone to stay here just exactly the same amount of time as me.  But that’s not the way seasons work.  Winter doesn’t wait until you’re ready to wear sweaters, and flowers don’t ask permission to bloom.   I can be excited it’s spring and still long for autumn.

So I enjoy the season I’m in.  I celebrate during this season that I am here “for such a time as this” …

Leap Year + Openness

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”  - Kierkegaard

photo by Rachel Gong

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting recently and when I came across this quote I thought it was perfect.  My life is lived step by step, trusting that the next step will become clear before my foot hits the ground, but it is in reflecting that I understand not only the reason for each step (well usually, some step I still don’t understand and probably never will) but also how each step has molded me in to who I am today.  That reflection helps me to trust in the next step, even when I can’t see the hand in front of my face until it almost hits me.

One year ago today I wrote a blog about my first adventure alone on the streets of Phnom Penh- you can read about that here. At that point I was proud of myself because I’d accomplished buying a bike lock, while today I am sitting here writing this and I’ve been to the market, the corner store and the tailor to check on my sister’s wedding dress all before lunch, and it felt normal.  What a difference a year makes.

Looking back on a year lived in this previously foreign land, I’m amazed. I lept on leap year day, and at that time this year I was finishing a 650km cycle ride from Saigon to Siem Reap!

If I knew what this year would hold, I am not sure that I would have believed it.  Last year I was leaping into the unknown, not knowing the depth of love, friendship and growth I’d experience.  Not knowing how much I’d miss people here and how hard it would become to say goodbye.  Not knowing how relatively easy it would be to live, or how I would come to look for opportunities to speak another language.  I did know I’d be changed.  Well, my head knew that, but I’m not sure my heart actually believed it.

Some things never change.  No matter what, I always love being with people.  Even when I need to think on my own, I prefer to do that in a place where there are people- I’m currently in a cafe.  I now have more people to love.  My heart has grown.  I’ve been challenged mentally, physically and emotionally- and for that I am thankful.

I started last year worried about little things like how I’d get from the airport when I arrived in Phnom Penh.  I’m not perfect, and I never will be, but today I look forward to the year ahead and I’m not nervous.  I’m excited.  I’ll always be curious- so I’d love to know what will happen- but I feel secure.  All I need to do is trust and be open…

Day 13: Finishing well

From Saigon to Siem Reap, it is hard to believe that our cycling tour is over. Today our rag-tag family of 8 rode 50km before 11am to see Banteay Srei. We stopped along the way for photos in the beautiful green rice fields. In just two weeks we formed a family and at the end of the ride we were all glad to be finished riding but sad that the trip is coming to a close.
I could not have asked for a better group as the inaugural Ride for Hagar. All the riders, our fearless leader Lin and the drivers were perfect. We were able to tell multiple people about Hagar (thanks to the jerseys), challenge ourselves further and learn more about Hagar. I am truly thankful that I was able to staff this first ride and see things that I never would have been able to see otherwise.
I am one lucky girl…

Day 12: Angkor Wat Complex

We’ve reached our destination but not the end of our cycling journey.  Today we biked the Angkor temples of Angkor Wat, Bayon and Ta Prohm (my favorite).  Because Lin (our guide- and friend) is not a licensed Angkor Wat guide, we had to have another guide come along today: Phirum.  The eight of us feel like family, so it was a bit strange to adjust to a new person in the group, but he knows a lot about the temples.

We started with a cycle to go have our picture taken:

 

Snapshots taken, our adventure began.  Cycling the temples was a whole new experience.  We went through villages, and the forest and got to stop to take pictures with monkeys.  We even entered Angkor Wat from the back so that we didn’t have so many tourists around.  I recommend going by bicycle.  At the temples I think our group of 8 must have taken about 3,000 photos- many of which were group photos where our poor guide Phirum was loaded down with 8 cameras because we all wanted our own picture

We ended the day with Ta Prohm, my favorite temple.  I even climbed up one of the trees (Rachel took a picture so I’ll post that later).  We finally got back to Siem Reap about 4:30pm with some time to relax before dinner and a walk around the night market.  With another 43 km down, we’ve now cycled around 604km!  Tomorrow we will add another 40km to that total, for our last day…

Day 11: Kampong Cham to Siem Reap

We learned today that Siem Reap is further from Phnom Penh than Saigon.  That means that, while we cycled nearly 60km before lunch, we still had to transfer by van about 3 hours to get to our hotel in Siem Reap.

Today’s cycle ride started by the river in Kampong Cham (kampong= port and cham= muslim people).  We cycled, stopping every 20km for a break.  The first break was at a rubber plantation.  The plantations are owned (mostly) by China and are worked by Cambodians, but the profit goes to China.  That’s a post for another day.  Along each stop we also had delicious fruit.  The area is known for great fruit and we had jackfruit, mangosteen and sweet tamarind.  All delicious!

Tomorrow we’re off to cycle around the temples…